I found out about Purple Women via m and this is my contribution regarding my decision to remain child-free.
Although I was on the fence about having kids until recently, after I finally made up my mind I realized that I never had wanted to have children, either by being a biological parent or an adoptive one. The reasons for not having children were just accumulating, so here they are all listed in no particular order:
While I am okay with people who consciously decide to have child(ren) for reasons important to them, I would like to have that same understanding from individuals with kids for my decision to remain child-free. Being married for 6 years tends to invite the assumption that we are still planning to have children especially since I have not yet entered my 30s.
Additionally, I would like some sort of benefit from health insurance companies for choosing to remain child-free. Giving birth is medically expensive and even more so if there are complications involved. I am even willing to sign a legal document in exchange for free birth control pills for life. But my insurance company (Blue Cross) said that they don’t accept such offers. So again I feel that someone with children and the desire to have children are given more options than someone like me in the health care system.
I guess this is the reality I have to deal with for going against the norm. Maybe at somepoint in the future it won’t be such an odd idea.
feel that someone with children and the desire to have children are given more options than someone like me in the health care system.
Oh absolutely. A lot of insurance companies will pay for fertility treatments but won’t cover voluntary sterilizations, which is why my tubes aren’t tied yet (grrrr). I actually find myself envying a friend who had to have a hysterectomy last year; we’re the same age and now she’s sterile for life.
Comment by Angry Grrl — November 15, 2007 @ 3:07 pm
We’ve got pets, but we can leave them alone to go out to dinner or a movie. Can’t do that with a small child. And I too avoid pain whenever possible.
We just celebrated six years, and I just hit 30, so it sounds like we’re almost in the same boat. But the more we all speak up, the less odd our decision will seem to others!
Comment by Dani — November 15, 2007 @ 9:45 pm
We’ve got pets, but we can leave them alone to go out to dinner or a movie. Can’t do that with a small child. And I too avoid pain whenever possible.
We just celebrated six years, and I just hit 30, so it sounds like we’re almost in the same boat. But the more we all speak up, the less odd our decision will seem to others!
Comment by Dani — November 15, 2007 @ 9:46 pm
Thanks for the comments Angry Grrl and Dani. Reading all the purple women blog posts has been very comforting.
Comment by beancounter — November 16, 2007 @ 9:06 am
That’s a good point about the insurance companies! I also think employers should offer additional benefits to childfree employees since we’re the ones picking up the slack and NOT taking maternity leave.
Comment by Escape Brooklyn — November 16, 2007 @ 2:41 pm