I’m in a foul mood today. This is probably due to all the "news" I’ve been reading since yesterday. Warning: negativity and pointless pontification ahead.
There are many claims and even studies showing the correlation between educated women and delayed pregnancy. So I’ve been very curious on how much my education played a part in me not wanting to have children (although, after yesterday’s bus ride I don’t even want to be in the same vicinity as anyone under 20…but that’s a different story). I’ve had sex education classes twice: the first one was on the mating of frogs given in biology class when I was 13 and second one had to do with humans, taught when I was 15. The frog sex class was a snooze fest and has probably played a huge role in why I’ve never liked studying biology in an academic environment. The human sex-ed class was given under the watchful eye of a nun, who I thought looked like a cow (it was how she was depicted in my cartoons of her).
The sex-ed class taught me only one method of pregnancy prevention (in addition to abstinence), the rhythm method, also called the calender method. But I never relied on it because I couldn’t keep track of when it was safe for me to have sex: Is it before my period? After my period? During my period? I decided the safest method was just to avoid it altogether and thus escape the stigma associated with a teenage pregnancy. I was 19 when I discovered the pill and unless I am sterile, it was 100% effective.
Depending on the hour, I sometimes feel like a genius or a complete idiot. So one of my biggest fears regarding pregnancy was cash flow: how do I provide for the kid if the dad is a dud? How do I provide for the kid if the kid has developmental problems? Not having money or a reliable support network is one of the reasons I kept putting off my child rearing abilities. Did this decision come about because I am educated? Or because I am sensible and have the ability to think about the future? Are they related? From what I know, my gene pool isn’t particularly spectacular and there are plenty of over educated people in this world that are related to me and are missing some light bulbs. Does sitting in a classroom listening to some bore drone on and on put a hamper on one’s desire to mate without contraceptives? If someone has any papers to recommend that address these questions, I’ll be happy to read them.
I’ve known women who have had no formal education (can’t write their name in any language, nor have been told about contraceptives or the calendar method) and are attractive and self-confident and have chosen not to have kids. These women were/are working low paid service jobs. Did their decision to not have kids come about because of their common sense or because of education?
The reason I am having these thoughts is because when I read stories and see pictures of women and their kids starving in Africa or whereever…I wonder, didn’t they think before they decided to have sex and get pregnant? Its not like they were living luxurious lives before they encountered food shortages. What is with this drama of selling kids to ensure that they have food? Why didn’t they think before they got pregnant? Would sex-ed have helped?
My husband says that one reason some cultures might be resistant to sex-ed lessons could be because of previous problems arising from listening to…lets say Western Society. So there is some fear and/or doubt involved with it. And it might be hard to seperate fact from BS and one example I can think of is…listening to someone tell you to use condoms vs. listening to someone telling you not to buy cheap U.S. subsidized grain that is GMO laden. And I am sitting here with access too all sorts of reading material so I have no way of really understanding what some of these women are going though. Okay. But still…it really bothers me to see starving kids…if I were living amongst rampant malnutrition I would ensure that I have razor blades in certain holes so as to prevent unneccesary accidents. Or punch myself repeatedly if my belly started to bloat up. I have friends without kids who echo my sentiments, and ones with kids that think I am some sort of monster. I am incredibly money minded…so all my thoughts revolve around it. But I’m still wondering why aren’t these women thinking about the future at least for a little while. I wonder if consensual unprotected sex has stopped in areas right now where there is water shortages, food shortages or random violence. I guess I’ll know in nine months.








Sorry, I typed a really long response but the stupid ant-spam device ate it.
Comment by equa yona — May 14, 2008 @ 9:25 am
testing spaminator…
Sorry your comment got eaten up. I actually lowered the spaminator’s eagerness yesterday after Heather’s comment was caught as spam so I’m not sure what happened.
Comment by Beany — May 14, 2008 @ 9:34 am
To sum up, education and training are garnered by those individuals and families who tend to be more career oriented. They move away from the village and its traditional views toward child bearing. They are somewhat less likely to be controlled by fundamental religious perspectives that require child bearing as a religious duty. And women who can earn their own way are less susceptible to coercion from spouse, family etc.
Comment by equa yona — May 14, 2008 @ 9:38 am
Beany, I have the same thoughts as you. In my case, it is even worse, since I do have children. So it is BAD BAD for me to say that I am qualified to have children as oppose to some other women. But I do recognize that my thoughts/judgment are entirely invalid because there have been no studies (that I am aware of) that demonstrate whether education is correlated to how good of a mother one can be. I have seen enough wealthy and highly educated women destroy their children and poor women with little education bring out the best in their kids
I agree with equa yona that most women with higher education have more opportunity, ambition, and means to move away from living their lives only through bearing children.
I remember a report on Bangladesh pregnancy rate a couple of years ago. The report found that when the poor women got Grameen-bank type of small loans, they set up businesses and gained economic power. As a result, the pregnancy rate dropped.
Unfortunately I think sex-ed had less to do with pregnancy reduction than economic power, in my humble opinion.
Comment by CindyW — May 14, 2008 @ 12:21 pm
That’s a a good point your bring up equa regarding motivated/career oriented women. This point would apply to the uneducated women I mentioned.
Cindy, I had forgotten about the Bangladeshi women. I did read Banker to the Poor and you’re right…I do recall women becoming independent and thus becoming more assertive in the male dominated society once they were able to start businesses.
I am very judgmental and while its supposed to be a bad attribute I think there is some good as well. I recall reading an essay on violentacres.com on the benefits of being judgemental…its a view I subscribe to. I think it can color my view of the world so I do restrain it, yet…I can’t help myself sometimes.
Comment by Beany — May 15, 2008 @ 6:17 am
I waited until I was 31 to get married and I was 33 when I had Lio. I know that is ancient by many standards! I was busy in school, job, career, life. I also didn’t meet my husband until I was 28 - - I wasn’t ready to get married at any point or have kids before then.
I’m glad I waited as I think I’m 1,000 times a better parent for it. That doesn’t mean that choice is right for everybody.
In areas of extreme poverty many people do not know how to prevent pregnancy, or it also may be taboo based on culture or religion. The Catholic Church here still has a stance on birth control that is followed by many of the faithful though that level of religious control is not one I understand - - but cannot denounce as it isn’t my choice to make.
In food challenged areas women may also have very few options as they are poor, uneducated and hungry. Misinformation abounds, and birth control options few.
Comment by Going Crunchy — May 16, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
I think there is still for many women a tie to previous times when more children meant more help working for/farming/gathering food, more time…
Plus there is the “need” to have children survive you. If there is a high mortality rate (even due to malnutrition and starvation), you need to ahve more children…
I think some of this is biologically “wired”… along with my insane desire to have children. I live in 800 sf with 2 dogs, and we definitely don’t make enough to support children… but I want them anyway. You’d think “wiring” would be smarter…
Comment by Jennifer — May 21, 2008 @ 8:01 am
I recently finished Common Wealth and he devotes a chapter or two to overpopulation and families bearing more children in the face of starvation. As Jennifer said, a lot of it has to do with the high mortality rate - which is ironic because here in the cushy Western world, we tend to think the opposite. Why have all those kids when they’ll just die and there’s not enough food to feed any of us and they’ll be sent off to beg in the streets of Senegal or whatever. Research shows, however, that when death rates decline, birth rates follow - though it can sometime take a generation to catch up. Also, sex ed has proven to be helpful as has educating women, which in turn empowers them to speak up about family planning, increases their value in the work force (thereby decreasing years devoted to child-bearing) and gets them started on child-bearing later.
I’m sure I’m not covering all of it but I do recommend Common Wealth even just for that chapter though the whole book is worth reading. I now feel that I have a better grasp on the situation in Africa and elsewhere.
Comment by Green Bean — May 22, 2008 @ 1:30 am
Green Bean: Common Wealth is on my to-read list…can’t remember who recommended the book to me.
Some general thought: I can see having children as a substitute for insurance/retirement savings/old age care/ego…and this will probably be an important consideration once sweat labor becomes a necessity again, but I’m not sure why pooling in resources isn’t given as much weight now. For example, I don’t have kids, but my neighbor with 10 kids could help me out when I’m 90 and demented…I guess like social security? (I’m planning on being dead by the time I start to get demented). I suppose the point that Jennifer (and my husband) says is valid: ego (i.e. desire to live forever by having kids). I love kids too…but I just do not have the support network necessary to make this a feasible option (ignoring for now the point that the planet is overpopulated and resources like access to fresh water is going down). I guess we’re all just selfish or something. We also want some guaranty of safety when we’re vulnerable and weak?
I was taught the calendar/rhythm method in a Catholic institution and many people do still appear to be heavily influenced by religious institutions…so whatever sex-ed women get it has to come from an institution that commands respect I suppose. And when there are so many competing for attention…its the problem of sorting out what’s worth listening to and what’s not. But I guess that is dependent on one’s social network/culture etc.
Comment by Beany — May 22, 2008 @ 11:26 am
Also according to Common Wealth, the religious right’s insistence on no funding for abortion and on not promoting contraception has negatively impacted the attempts to reign in overpopulation in the third world.
As to having kids, personally I think that if you do not want to have children, you should not have them. I adore my children but never regret having them but I wanted to have children. There are so many sacrifices inherent in raising children that, I think if you don’t really really want them, you are better off not. I wouldn’t feel pressured by societal norms. I was reading just today how countries in Europe are becoming concerned about depopulation because so many couples are chosing not to have children.
Really interesting thread.
Comment by Green Bean — May 22, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
I think in EU even though Europeans themselves aren’t having kids, the immigrants moving in are…and I suppose much of the backlash against new immigrants is perhaps because these immigrants are popping out kids (fear of the race dying out, etc).
Comment by Beany — May 23, 2008 @ 6:40 am
And a story in the NYT about immigrants making a dash for the border.
Comment by Beany — May 23, 2008 @ 9:46 am